What in the World?
By: April Stubbs
Issue date: 4/7/09 Section: Nation/World
Just when you think the people of the world could not get any crazier, they do...
• Since we're in a recession and all, you'll be happy to know that Japanese space scientists are keeping you in mind. They will be releasing a line of stink-free underwear and clothing. That way you'll be able to save a bundle on washing powder.
• China is still trying to cut down on population. The Chinese government has begun sprinkling abortion pills near gerbil burrows to cut down on the outrageous rodent numbers. With less gerbils, everyone saves on rodent killer(?).
• Everyone has a dream car. Shiny paint, soft leather seats, a seven figure price tag, the works. But in a recession, Bentley's aren't practical dream cars. To cope, one frugal freddy decided to save a few thousand by stealing his dream car from the dealership. A brand spankin' new NISSAN ALTIMA, complete with an automatic ignition, straight from the dealership showroom was his automobile of choice.
• In Thailand, things have gotten so bad that even civil servants are hard to come by. To save an autistic boy from a long drop off a balcony, Spiderman was the best next thing. A man dressed as Spiderman was the only way to save the boy from danger.
• If your money's running low in Michigan, have no fear. A Michigan minor league stadium will begin selling 4800 calorie burgers soon. With that many calories, patrons will only need to eat two times a week (ok, three times if you're really hungry!)
• Since we're in a recession and all, you'll be happy to know that Japanese space scientists are keeping you in mind. They will be releasing a line of stink-free underwear and clothing. That way you'll be able to save a bundle on washing powder.
• China is still trying to cut down on population. The Chinese government has begun sprinkling abortion pills near gerbil burrows to cut down on the outrageous rodent numbers. With less gerbils, everyone saves on rodent killer(?).
• Everyone has a dream car. Shiny paint, soft leather seats, a seven figure price tag, the works. But in a recession, Bentley's aren't practical dream cars. To cope, one frugal freddy decided to save a few thousand by stealing his dream car from the dealership. A brand spankin' new NISSAN ALTIMA, complete with an automatic ignition, straight from the dealership showroom was his automobile of choice.
• In Thailand, things have gotten so bad that even civil servants are hard to come by. To save an autistic boy from a long drop off a balcony, Spiderman was the best next thing. A man dressed as Spiderman was the only way to save the boy from danger.
• If your money's running low in Michigan, have no fear. A Michigan minor league stadium will begin selling 4800 calorie burgers soon. With that many calories, patrons will only need to eat two times a week (ok, three times if you're really hungry!)
